Dear You

Dear you..
How are you?
It has been teribble since you were avoiding me
I think I were giving you time.
I don't know if that was means - a long long time -

I'm not good at being a listener, I thought
I can't just sit down and come up with no solution
My bad, I guess.
When you told me everything that night, 
with no preparation, of course I was stunned
I didn't know what to do,
I always think that everything has its solution

Say I'm perfectionist, I don't care..
Say I'm a bad friend, now I'm sad

I know I was , so, so wrong.
I'm sorry that I have no idea that jsomething was happening on you,
I'm such a terrible friend, aren't I?

But back then, I knew I had to do something
But I couldn't do that in person
I knew you might be avoiding me

So I write and write
What did I think, though?
You hate reading.
I'm such a teribble friend, aren't I?

Now it's been days since my letter
Yet I haven't heard anything from you.
I do understand, tho, 
I'm a bad listener maybe.
I don't know.

I hope everything will be okay soon..
IF not, you know
Maybe next time I'll shut my mouth and just listen.

From your very bestfriend,
with regret

Thought about Someone..

One of the worst part about someone dying is thinking back to all those times you didn't ask the right question, all those times you stupidly assumed you'd have all the time in the world. And this too: how all that time feels like not much time at all. What's left feels like something manufactured. The overexposed ghost of memories.

I AM WHO I AM

Is it too late now to hope?

Even they want me to cut all the rope

Is it too late to wish?

You and I probably know how to predict things

I am who I am

We know how to recognize things that matter

I am who I am

And I don't question anybody to answer

I am who I am

For now, I have hope, to wish, 

and at the end..

for all that matters, 

for all the answers.

Me at Relationship

"I'm not good at relationship

I always manage to find the flaws

Sometimes in others, 

but mostly my own

I foretell the ending

And go and create the cause,

Save myself,

and end up alone"

This isn't originally mine, but it's a good quote, not positive, just real.

And anyway, this is so me :) 

So.. Here's the thing

My name is Aileen Gabrielle, you could call me Gabrielle. 
I love reading and sleeping too much 'til I forgot about this blog for 2 years. (litterally)
But haha no, I'm kinda busy these years.
2015 has been a rough year for me, no kidding, (I probably won't tell you why)
Now that 2016 I could relax a little, even in the coming Sept I will enter my next semester.

So, here's the thing..I don't know how to edit my blog template, so I couldn't read any reader's comments (I don't even know if there is someone reading this, tho! LOL)
I am very grateful if someone is reading this. I feel like having a friend that I don't know? okay I'm a weirdo.

And no.. if you think I have no social life.. I'm not the girl in the novel, who luckily meet the popular guy. I'm just a regular teenage girl, having friends, and I love to write and sleep. (Did I just say it again?)

Okaaaaay this getting so long. Byeee.

Politeness?

Some people want to be absent from our life. 
They just left and disappear, and thankyou for that. 
It hurts though, for all the time I pay
Wishing that you might come back
And things could be right again 

Some are too polite to even say,

Grateful, not Fake

Sometimes, it feels like you're very lucky to be you.
But seconds later, you wish to be someone else.
It takes strength though, to be grateful.
It's not as easy as people say.
I look forward to be happy eventhough it's hard,

People always find me happy and smilling
I tend to be, you know, not wanting to be fake
It just feel better
Seconds you are laughing, smilling,
You yourself may forget that lots of trouble are behind you.

You (or yes, me)we don't try to be fake
We are grateful, and sometimes..
it makes us feel a lot better :)